Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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