'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
