Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
