I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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