Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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