it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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