So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra