in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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