that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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