even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
All I want is dick and wine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
