you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
