Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Rumble strips road head = magical
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
