time to smoke my breakfast
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
