Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
