i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
