He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
