I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
