her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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