We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
two words...techno handjob
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
