On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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