Don't you send me to vm
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
