your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
