I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
