Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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