I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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