Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
