You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
