i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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