Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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