Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize