turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I love you.
Bad choice
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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