Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dear god my vagina.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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