Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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