They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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