i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
