You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There r osticjed everywhere
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
