That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
