Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
