i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you would pick up someone in the library
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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