i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
false alarm, still single
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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