did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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