im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
