she was so not down for the gang bang
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Couch. On fire.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
