Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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