i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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