There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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