Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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