What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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