You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wear drunk well.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
