Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
