ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
