How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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