how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
