I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
