you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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