@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize