kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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