Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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