Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
