That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
