this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Come back. Shots need mouths.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
