Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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